Monday, October 24, 2005

Murthy vs. the mad dog?

I got this on email and I'm going to shamlessly post it:

Now, back to reality. Bangalore is flooded. Water, water everywhere, not a drop to drink.

IIPM Update: Businessworld investigates. (Needs free registration, but you can use bugmenot to avoid) Essentially:

1) AC asks BW to investigate "independently". AC promises to provide answers etc. BW asks for details on placements, faculty, study tours etc. and gets a statement saying someone is a liar and a thief, and they replied "But I only lied about being a thief"...or maybe that was another movie.

2) BW gets irritated, and conducts its own investigation. Notes that hi-fi stuff like swimming pool, amphitheater, minigolf course etc. only exist at Delhi "campus", which IIPM claims is their only campus, the rest are "branches". How stupid do they think we are?

3) IIPM faculty is almost entirely ex IIPMers. That's no big deal. But funda is - this is how they're employed. Planman consulting hires them and contracts out to IIPM to teach. "We use consultants with vast consulting experience" says Arindam Chaudhari - more like "waste consulting experience" if teaching at IIPM *is* the experience. External faculty is a sham; they do a one show at their auditorium. If this is the criteria, my college has had "faculty" from every corner of the world.

Isn't the earth round? They why the F do they call it "corner of the world"? Which dumbfuck invented the term?

4) Placements are a no no, says BW. AC says he never claimed these companies come for campus placements - only that these companies have IIPM students. Some companies allegedly had IIPM students, but they allegedly applied independently. IIPM allegedly doesn't know their salaries also, or didn't want to tell. We've decided we don't like the word "allegedly" so we will stop using it.

5) IIPM doesn't like rankings because "they have a mindset problem" but claims #2, #8 etc. positions on any ranking that will place them in the top 10. (That's because they can only count till 9 I guess)

It's actually worse than this, in the sense that Arindam Chaudhari's repus-tation is mauled in the article. But in true filmy parlance, 'Be-izzat to woh hote hain jinki koi izzat ho'.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

The world's worst surveys

In no particular order I am going to list the world's worst surveys, conducted for the supremely satisfying purpose of turning your brain into jelly.

This says "Obese people enjoy sex after losing weight". Er...Duh?

I am a pathetic googler today, so I'll stop there for now. Keep coming back for updates.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

"We don't like you, Wikipedia"

It seems some "joker" tried to delete all the information of the controversy from Wikipedia's IIPM page. Turns out the joker is from the domain - check out the Alert section. I don't blame 'em for trying but you know what, Wikipedians weren't born yesterday.

(Or maybe there were, and they're going to come for me when they're old enough to.)

Thalassa Mikra has done some astounding Google + Email + FriendCircleInBarcelona research. I'll summarize:

IIPM's alliances page mentions "Mr. Roland H. Baumberger (Vice-President & Head HR, Sulzer, Europe)" and he says they let IIPM students visit their HQ in Switzerland. Same kinda thing with the Jean-Daniel Pasche, President, Federation of the Swiss Watch Industry.

Nestle's Niels Christiansen (Director, Public Affairs, Nestle Worldwide) denies any association, and Mr. Thomas Schelling (Head, Asia-Oceania-Africa, Nestle Worldwide) is going to take up the name-on-site issue.

Dr. Miles Dodd (Senior Advisor, INSEAD, France) seems to have No links anymore, only a lecture six years ago in Geneva. He doesn't like the IIPM guys using his name, no sir.

It's starting to smell.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

The Nimish Adani Episode

Nimish Adani, a Business Development Manager at Izmo cars, wrote a long post about the Brutality he faced in the railway station in Bangalore. In brief, he alleged that the TTE, along with Railway Protection Force (RPF) employees, roughed him up for no reason at all. They took him to a room and slapped him, beat him with sticks and crushed his glasses. Then a man named V. Srinivas, he said, tried to defraud him.

That post created ripples in Bangalore Online - Ryze members offered all sorts of help, and pushed the case through so Nimish could get justice. The case even got published in Deccan Herald and in the Times of India.

The Railway officials then swing into action. They find "Srinivas" and suspend the TTEs and four RPF personnel.

All good? Not quite. Soon, Nimish withdraws his complaint. The Railway folks say Nimish was drunk and had misbehaved, and didn't have a platform ticket. Even then, they say, the TTE/RPF behaviour was inexcusable, and transferred/penalized the officials.

Who's right? Nimish explains his side on his blog.

But there are nagging doubts:

  • Why did Nimish not take a written apology?
  • Which of these scenarios do you think really happened? (See First Post)
  • I've heard of terrible police brutality, but it never seems to happen to the "well heeled". I've been stopped at 3 AM in a car by cops, and if they'd wanted they could've shot me and no one would know - but they just checked for alcohol and found out I was just a geek staying late at the office. They let me go.
  • Why did Nimish withdraw after taking help from so many people, without any evidence to offer them?

If what Nimish is saying is correct, I hope he realizes he is going to be known as the wolf cryer because he's left the online world with no proof.

If Nimish was drunk and did assault the TTE, then we, the suspecting public, has been taken for a ride.

Take your pick.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Amit Kapoor is for real

There are some IIPM blogs that claim that there is no such person as Kautilya. Well, there is: and you can find him on the IIML site.

I find these IIPM blogs ridiculous - they're big shit, no chief. I love a good blog fight, but this ain't it: the IIPM supporting blogs have the language skills of a retarded rat. Their idea of debating is to fling mud on a person, not an argument: and the argument, in my opinion, is the fact that IIPM MISREPRESENTS SURVEY RESULTS THAT ARE INVALIDATED. Don't join IIPM. Ever.

Editors Note: We have received a legal notice from the Association of Retarded Rats claiming that their language skills are misrepresented. After careful research, we find that retarted rats are far better.

Your fly is undone

So Gaurav's discovered the football urinals. I had blogged about something like this a long time back, though I was actually talking about Dutch toilets. Essentially, they have a "fly" painted into the urinal at a strategic place, and theyve found that men (no, "guys") will actually *aim* at the fly. And that reduced spillage by 80%!

But football is far more exciting, I agree. I'd probably hold it a while longer so I can score more goals. Hey, let's just think about this - implement it in an office and in a few days all guys are walking knock kneed, and slightly bent over. "Why are you walking like this?" "Sandeep scored 7 goals yesterday, I'm saving it to beat that". The girls will probably have a fit.

While we're on this page, check out Korean instructions for men's urinals. And Some Guys are under some Serious Pressure. Maybe that's why they invented *this*.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Why not buses????

Someone's figured out that SUV's are injurious to health. They (some doctors in the US) are demanding that SUVs come with a label like those found in cigarettes, because their hoods are higher. People are more liable to die, they say, from the larger hood which hits their "critical" organs - rather than those that die from a regular car which will only break their legs.

In the same vein, all buses and trucks should have a MASSIVE banner because, let's face it, the size of those monsters will encompass ALL your organs, critical or otherwise. Indian buses should be treated like they'll spontaneously combust, which they sometimes will do.

In unrelated news, George Bush was run over by an SUV today but luckily, survived. "He fell on his head", said the doctors, "and there weren't any critical organs there." Small mercies.

Friday, October 14, 2005

The affordable computer...

(This is a geek post. You've been warned)

Finally, we have a sub-10K computer. A 1.6 Ghz AMD processor, 40 GB hard disk, 15" monitor, 128 MB Ram, Linux.

Hmm, I think - I've been planning to build a Digital Video Recorder (DVR) for months now - and wanted the cost to be around 8K. I can get MythTV for free on Linux, so Software costs are nil.

Hardware wise - if I removed the monitor (Rs. 3000?) and put in a TV tuner card (Rs. 2000), and upgrade the Hard Disk to 200 GB or so (Rs. 2000), I should have a fairly functional DVR for around 10 K now. Only problem is, TV tuner cards that I've seen don't seem to have a TV out or a hardware MPEG encoder for recording. Have to keep lookin'.

So why do I want a DVR? I hate ads. I despise them. I loathe them to the extent that I have turned to Sudoku for entertainment. What I want do is to "skip ads". Meaning, I will start watching some serial about 10 minutes after it's started: my DVR would have been recording from the time it actually started. So when I'm watching I'm watching a time-shifted recording, and as I watch the computer records the incoming programme in the background.

When ads appear, I press the fast forward button - the software can be configured to go forward in 20-30 second increments - typically ads in India are 20 seconds long. So NO ADS!!! And no volume reducing when ads come on - but my TV does that already.

Also I can then finally watch what they call Desperate Housewives. I've never seen it, only heard about it - only because I'm never at home when it's on!

Ah yes, and if I manage to do this, I will also write a tool to provide the listing on the TV - so I can choose which channel I want, and see what's scheduled to be on at a future time too. But, right now, don't hold your breath. I don't got no money.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Placements from IIPM - Finally Found!

So many of you have been complaining that IIPM isn't publishing links to where their students have been hired. Well, thanks to the research of one brilliant individual (me), we have the complete list:

Can some of these guys, if they ever read this post, please confirm? I think we'll have a lot more faith in the IIPM philosophy if we actually have a "Yep, I was there, and it's a nice place to be in." from real people.

I found Nikhil Khade who's posted photos of IIPM. Thank you, Nikhil - a face finally. What I see from the photos:
  • They do have A/C rooms.
  • They use Zenith PCs. If anyone's working at Zenith and blogging, kindly remember that you may have to quit if IIPM threatens to burn PCs.
Keep it flowing.

Legal notices, weird antecedents and more...

IIPM wise: It ain't over till it's over.

Varna gets a legal notice. Another one of them Notarized Emails. I'm jealous.

The notice says:
Despite our public warning to thereof known as JAM magazine and Mr. Gaurav Sabnis...

We think this is written by a legal person with too much too drink.

Also they've demanded 175 crores.
Nice. I can do it too. I demand Rs. 5,000 crores from IIPM for falsifying ads, for using a survey result that is invalid. I'm rich!

Just as an aside, Varna's blog is named "Ubi Dubium Ibi Libertas", which means "Where there is doubt there is freedom". There is also the well known "Ubi Dubyaum Ibi Dilbertas" - "Where these is George Bush, there is management chaos" - telling us how forward thinking the latin folks were.

Now we have Selective Amnesia talking about a personal account of IIPM - that it was more interested in getting its students in rather than actually filtering them out in the GD/Interview process. If you can pay, you're in. Frankly, there's nothing wrong with that - there are scores of educational institutes and even companies that will take you on board if you're willing to pay, no matter who you are. It *is* your choice, and if there's a sucker willing to fall for it so be it. Everyone who pays 13K for a Bangalore-Delhi flight now is a sucker, period, and we don't see anyone screaming their heads off at Jet Airways.

A few words about Arindham Choudhary, formerly known as Alternating Current. AC, the name lazy bloggers are now calling him, since its easier to type and not muck up spelling, is now on the firing line. AC seems to have become the butt of a few jokes and I have come to the conclusion that he can't write - from his book excerpt at For instance, he writes, in BOLD, "Complacency in my opinion is the biggest problem in India".

I'll leave him to it. He's won a Gold Medal from IIPM, after all.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

You're out of the rankings, IIPM!

More dirt. Seems IIPM ain't not ranked no more.
Kartik Kannan's post on August 8
and even better:
Photo by Kartik Kannan of the actual Outlook page

Abridged version: Outlook says IIPM is guilty of unethical practices and is misleading students. Also says IIPM falsifies data. So they Withdraw all rankings given to IIPM Forthwith.

Meaning, no rank for you, IIPM. Naaa-na-naa-na-naaa-naa.

I love myself when I'm in such a mood. I also love a good blogfight. Bring it on!

Update: CFore Suspended IIPM in 2003! (Full PDF available)

IIPM: a War Zone Now.

Yes, yes. The blogosphere, pardon my French, is pissed. (What is a blogosphere? We don't know. We think it must not refer to bloggers who are spherical, because that is not very nice to us.)

So this IIPM thing is going N-U-T-S. We therefore request all blogizens (see? I can do it too!) to go by a couple ground rules.
1) It's "Libel", not Slander. If anything's written as fact and is not one, it is libellious. Slander refers to the spoken version of libel, with some additional complications but we won't get there.
2) IIPM students are not at fault. When I say IIPM'ers, I refer to the folks who run IIPM; not the poor guy whose laptop they intended to burn. When you scream, please note that
a) some poor little rich guy got it in the wrong end after reading tales of the ponytailed guru that can hatch chickens.
b) that poor little rich guy is not going to be liking it when you're trying to shove something up alongside.

So, stick with the guns and keep em loaded. But don't shoot the wrong guy.

That's me coming off my soapbox. Back to ground level, or like the IIPM site likes to say:
Level 0, Deepak Shenoy Soapbox #1.

Who's talking? Gazillions of people. Read and

For a massive list of bloggers who are spherical. The count is growing.

Count your blogs before they Chicken.

IIPM: Are they for real?

You probably already know about The Great IIPM Wars. If you don't, here's the corporate summary:

1) JAM Magazine Exposes IIPM. Says that IIPM uses outdated info (#8 Ranked School) for their ads. Says the campus claims are bunk - they don't have no swimming pool, and the library don't have no Wi-Fi. Says Free laptops are available if you pay the 4.86 lakh plus fee. (*) Says placements info is rigged, companies say they've never even been to IIPM and so on.

(*) Incidentally, if you think getting a free laptop after paying 4.86 lakhs is cool, I have a bridge I can sell you.

2) IIPM staffers barge into Rashmi Bansal's office and get angry and all. So sad. But they also send her the mother of all papers: the legal notice. This I get from Amit Verma's post; he says he's talked to her, but if you want to get all legal about this, it IS hearsay.

3) In the lines of Kyonki Saas bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, we have a bold entry from the outside. Gaurav Sabnis, an innocent bystander till now, notices all that's happening and makes a dramatic post about "the fraud that is IIPM". Now this ruffles the IIPM feathers to no end, assuming they are of the avian species. ("Fly by night" comes to, I won't go there yet)

4) Some so-called IIPMers, in the spirit of a free internet with no restrictions on grammar and spelling, post countless comments on Gaurav's and Rashmi's blogs. Some of these comments are unprintable, though it must be said that some of them are "open to any sex", or "mad guy who will search you physically". To each his own I guess.

5) Now IIPM gets into the act. Obvious to you Kahaani Ghar Ghar Ki viewers, but we, the unsuspecting public, need help. They send Gaurav a legal notice which is amazing, except it was sent by "judicially notarized email". Technology happens when I'm sleeping darnit - I want a judicially notarized email!!!

6) Mr. Sabnis published all that - and of course proceeded to grind the email to dust. Pretty good job. Which musta reeely ticked the IIPMers off, so someone out there started a blog saying they are the "RealGauravSabnis". Will The Real Gaurav Sabnis please stand up? And add some Spaces to his name?

7) IIPMers then get all fired up, and threaten to burn IBM laptops in front of the IBM office where Gaurav works. I'm guessing they were the free laptops, that some poor student paid for. Anyways, this is not an economics lesson, but if you're in business you see where this is going. So IBM gets all frowny faced, but stands by Gaurav in that it's all his personal opinion and nothing to do with the company. They don't say "screw you, you can burn the laptops but you'll just come back and buy some more" - because I guess that is not the IBM way. So Gaurav, to project the izzat of his employer, resigns from IBM.

And IBM said ok. What a bunch of goofheads. Standing by an employee who has the integrity to quit is the least a company like IBM could do - so what if Lenovo can't sell a few PCs. This thing is going to blow over and what will be left is who chose to stand their ground. IBM, a frikking megalith, wilts and the lone ranger braves it.

8) The whole world starts commenting. Me too. I won't put all the links here, because I'm bored. But keep your eyes on this page.

Note: I don't watch the aforementioned Soaps. I hate 'em. But every woman over the age of 50, eg. my mum, will not allow you to change channels when they're on and I'm at her house.