Monday, November 07, 2005

The zero point call center.

I've decided I don't like Chetan Bhagat's one night (at) the call center. No not just because it's about follicle attraction or that it's not literary. I don't even know what being literary means, which is perhaps for the best.

If you intend to read the book, stop right here and go do it. I'm going to reveal its deep, dark, secrets.

What's lousy? The plot. Story is about a few call center people that have different problems, and then the call center itself has problems, and so on. Few things I couldn't digest:
- The saving of a call center by putting "fear" into Americans by telling them - hold your breath - terrorists have attacked you by putting a virus in your computer. Okay, so many Americans are paranoid: but this borders on the INSANE!

First, Americans, despite their reputation, do have friends and someone is bound to talk to someone who realizes this is hogwash. Second, this someone will most likely sue the pants (or panties) off the call center. This will soon be the do-not-call center.

Third, and most important, this is the stupidest idea I've ever heard.

- Chetan asks you in the beginning to answer a few questions, like "What do you hate most?" etc. , giving no reason for this survey. I guess it's because the book is supposed to touch a chord someplace. The only way it will do that is if someone uses it to pluck a guitar.

- The whole God thing. When I picked up the book, I thought it was something fascinating because I'm an atheist, but this is not even a god worth believing in. God calls a mobile phone when four people are in a qualis that's hanging precariously off a few rods....and tells them to make a left. Oh, wrong story. God tells them to be themselves and make changes and they agree, and then live happily ever after. (Puke)

- Blackmail by accusing Boss Sexual harassment by sending an email from his computer. This is justified because Boss is a prick and uses management jargon. What's this, a call center for vigilante cowboys? We're going to encourage such pathetic forms of fraud? To all call center bosses out there, don't worry - Systems can find the arseholes that do something like this.

I've seen a lot of SH cases in call centers, and most go through a thorough investigation before blame gets assigned.

- The love story ending of running and proposing at red lights. Which brings a whole new meaning to the term "Red Light Area". I frankly think that love ish-story was nicely put, although the use of font changes to depict a flashback is mildly unnerving.

That's the bad part.

What's good?
- The price. I love Rs. 95.

- The Indian Author that's trying something different. We've had sordid tales of the partition, suitable boys, small things in kerala, profound utterances about cities and their sex lives...I find them all of a genre that is somehow ....whatdyacallit... boring. Although this book is not that great, I find books of this kind a welcome break from the pseudo-ness of the "literary" Indian author.

But don't include Shashi Tharoor - I really like "The Great Indian Novel".

1 Comments:

Blogger The Bathroom Singer said...

the 95 got me buying the 5ps and I agree to all U've said abt it.. took me to the rec days and yes there are similarities and dissimilarities.. no one studies like they do in iit, or he was a placement rep or something there..

and no way am I gonna get lured into the call center thingie.. me not work in call center and nothings gonna get me nostalgic here..

but I thought small things in kerala was super cool.. atleast the term "literary" applied to it..

5:38 PM, November 07, 2005  

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