Friday, August 11, 2006

Head hung in shame, nose cut off in public.

I have lost the Bad English Competition. I thought my entry was pathetic, but there are patheticer and patheticest entries much worster than mine.

But we are not leaving behind just. I wrote off to winning competitor, Kaushik:

Well done, only you win. my angreji is so far better that one day i will leap and bound you. Just like that. only.

Pls to publish movie script your blog. we are watching, the movies, knowing there is face behind awesome dialogue is good news.

All your base are belong to us.

I think I'm going to write a book this way. The ish-story of Raju the Gentleman that starts like this:
And there she was. Sitting there on the four road intersection of life not knowing at all where all she can go. She was confused very much but knew; there was no going back to the village. Nilhalli was her behind, yes her past participle. Nilhalli means blue village and all the time there were the blues.

Not like the songs, ya. Blues meaning unhappy type. Meaning bhain, bhain crying and it was not only that time of month when something and all happens. Whole life is sad and she was city girl, no? She know enough English, more than that ugly postal man daughter who came off to town in skirt showing ankles and no silver ornament around them.

But that was all her behind. Now only looking to front, and walking walking till sole of foot is tender. It was tender now, that's why she was on the four road intersection, sitting and hoping for water or a bus. Not that she could drink a bus, but she was sure only that bus would take her to pumpwell somewhere.

That's when she saw Raju, I think. He was sitting there only, opposite side without chappal, little bit away from me. How he could manage?! She was finding it soooo tough, just wearing sandal and that too without heel. No chappal in this hotter sun, the thinking only made that feeling passing up middle of back. Shiver. Ya, shiver passing up spine.

Suddenly, Raju looked at her.
"What ya, no father or brother in house-uh? Staring staring from that time?"

"Umm...what you mean ya? Free country no? I look where i want to look you come in the way what can I do?", Nalini spluttered, not pausing for all that punctuation and all.

... The rest you will find in my book which will be written one day. Or one night.


Anonymous Just Mohit said...

why you so tense? all it past tense.
love how cats say ha ha ha
one question: why they keep saying all your base belong to US? is this american conspiracy to overtake all bases? or do they talk of base gitar?

2:55 AM, August 12, 2006  
Blogger Vasan said...

Just happened on your blog. This is great stuff, Deepak! I never had so many laughs in one night.

When you are really done with that one night (or one day), let us all mortals know, I'll buy the book, by the book.

PS: I can't figure out the original language. It seems to start in Hindi, and there are glimpses of Hindi elsewhere. Doesn't seem Kannada either, throughout. Konkani? Wish I knew a bit of that one.

And, please don't visit my blog. I am ashamed of it already.

12:05 AM, October 15, 2006  
Blogger Nayana said...

Hee hee hee...I'd buy it, if it ever got published! Great blog, keep writing!

2:38 PM, March 31, 2007  

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