Monday, December 19, 2005

Would I...

...room with this person? Hahahahaha.

This is like rooming with the Military Officer From Hell. There's standard stuff like "private rooms", throwing trash in the trash can and staying off each other's voicemail. What's hilarious is the attempt to run it like the red army. Private spoons and plates that no one else touches (jeez, keep it your ruddy room then). Don't mix the darn cooking and eating items (no more spoons to taste the dal). No touchin food with bare hands - and definitely no tearing out half a samosa with your hand and leaving the rest for someone else.

Life isn't so much fun without all that, no?

Oh and this guy's a ghaasahari - no meat 'n eggs. I'm sure Rohit would love to see this, and we'd be rolling on the ground. What's next, I'm sure, is that there would be a ban on even watching cookery serials where they show a meat recipe. I'm cracking up already - but if you're reading this and you're not Rohit, you will probably not understand.

14 Comments:

Blogger Libran Lover said...

Deepak,

Would you like your roommate to wear your underwear? Assuming you are a non-beef-eating Hindu, would you like your roommate to cook cows and pigs in your house and raise a stink you can't bear? No, right?

There are people in the world who don't mind the above. For them, you would appear like a Military Officer from Hell. Different people have different sensitivity levels. You don't like someone sharing your underwear, I don't like someone breaking off a samosa with their unwashed hands and then leaving the other half to me. You don't like beef-cooking in your house, I don't like meat cooking in my house. Period.

And yes, those who are not Rohit will probably not understand what you are whining about. It takes a special kind of insensitivity you probably share with Rohit. Just as it takes a sensitive person to understand my POV.

LL

1:02 AM, December 23, 2005  
Blogger Deepak Shenoy said...

LL,

I am a beef eating person. I'm of no religion. And I'm not a frikking "sensitive" person, get it?

I have this fine limit, which I draw, between being understanding and being bloody insane. Your "rules", LL, are on the insane end. That's my belief, and I wouldn't ever room with you, so why do you care?

I didn't make the rules, dude. You did. And I find them absolutely hilarious.

Rules like "Eating together", "Maintaining good company" point to a control problem, and you sound like a overzealous mother. Distinction between cooking items and eating items is outright dumb. And Private spoons and plates? Jeez. And this no touching samosas or whatever - dude, get a life.

(Gawd, I just realised. You could give this to your parents and this is the "wish list" for your bride as well!!!)

Oh, and the Rohit angle: Don't bother, you won't understand.

Beef can be amazingly delicious. I really don't care if you don't eat it, it's my point of view.

- Deepak

10:27 AM, December 23, 2005  
Blogger Libran Lover said...

Deepak,

Alright, you eat beef. There are people who consider dog's meat to be "amazingly delicious". And there are some people in the world who will eat human meat and shit. Will you be okay with having such people as roommates, and sharing a meal with them? Or will your sensitivity kick-in all of a sudden, although you are not a "frikking sensitive person"?

And you don't mind someone breaking half a samosa with their bare hands and sharing it with you, right? How would you like it if that someone had just removed their shoes with their bare hands, used the toilet and did not wash their hands on the way over to the kitchen, and then broken the samosa with unwashed hands? Won't your sensitivity kick in then?

The world is a big diverse place, Deepak. What sounds insane to you, is normal to other people. What is normal to you, might be insane to some others. If you believe that you have your own point of view, and if you don't want others to be interfering with it, why not extend the same courtesy to others and leave their points of view alone? If you still don't understand this, it is obvious that your brain needs to grow some more.

Until then, why don't you concentrate on building a happy life with your understanding boyfriend Rohit, and not worry about my life with my future wife?

Cheers,
LL

6:31 AM, December 26, 2005  
Blogger Deepak Shenoy said...

LL,

You're just trying to push it over the brim aren't you? Dude, you need to get a life. Really.

What I mind and I don't is a fine line, and I draw it, as I earlier said. I couldn't care less if you feel really screwed because of it - your rules are dumb and hostile. Deal with it.

I'm dealing with my point of view about what is your point of view. You don't bother me, you make me laugh. For some reason I seem to be bothering you - I don't know why, but you seem to be terribly ticked off that I don't like your grubby rules. I don't care about stuff you care about and find you bloody stiff. Live with it.

My "sensitivity" is zero to your feelings about this situation. I am not a sensitive guy to "feel" your pain - that oh my goodness, there's this guy who has this completely stupid set of beliefs, maybe I should agree with them. Dude, I respect your right to have rules. I also have every right to scorn them and laugh at them. Respect that. You make your rules public, I make my smirking public. Get it?

You're just trying to justify your rules by pointing out increasingly bad situations - you tried with beef, didn't work. You're trying with dog meat - that doesn't work either. You'll try with expunged human waste, maybe THAT will work? Wow...you're probably the kind that doesn't breathe unless through a filtered cloth, for fear of killing germs right? No? Get the analogy? Shove it.

Wife wise: you're going to be in for a fright. You think *you* have rules.

5:20 PM, December 26, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, Love this. Two guys discussing (bickering over) cleanliness, food and dirty underwear. Deepak - you're right, wives have rules too. Looks like you're in for a hard time.

A friend of mine complained that he didn't find his socks in the closet. His girlfriend said "They're exactly where you left them last week. On the floor, darling". Got to hand it to her.

9:53 PM, December 26, 2005  
Blogger Deepak Shenoy said...

Wow! That's quite a "Guy" situation :) You should read "Dave Barry's Guide to Guys" - has tales and more of the regular guy allergy to what women call cleanliness :)

12:01 PM, December 27, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HaHa
"Guy allergy" that's what I have. A morbid allergy. By the way there's only individual cleanliness - no guy cleanliness or woman cleanliness. One marriage down - I can safely say there's only husband laziness. I mean men are clean but expect someone else to do it for them (wife??)Right? By the way, don't know much about Dave Barry.

7:12 PM, December 30, 2005  
Blogger Minkey Chief said...

LL, the best-tasting samosas are made by people who scratch their armpits while rolling, cough while frying and storing, and pick their noses while handling and putting into newspaper packets that are covered with heavy metals and road grime. Why would you want to eat a samosa?

Oh but of course, you've made those samosas with your own untainted hands in your sacred kitchen space with home-grown organic potatoes and onions, and hand-ground flour.

What's funny is not just that you had all those rules, but you'd worded them as if they're to go in India's constitution. I half-wish I *was* your roommate so I could stick my finger up my nose and stir your coffee with it every morning.

12:30 PM, January 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Woohoo,
I feel like I've sneaked into the men's locker room. Can't help myself. "I could stick my finger up my nose and stir your coffee with it every morning." Beauty mate. "every morning??" Haha. I've smiled to myself so many times today - I'm sure people think I'm mad. Thank you Minkey Chief or whatever.

9:12 PM, January 11, 2006  
Blogger Minkey Chief said...

Now I'm totally confused. Are you reading this whole exchange as a study in homoeroticism? Looking at it again through your eyes, I can see how it might make you smile to yourself all day. You're welcome.

7:29 PM, January 12, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Much obliged Minkey Chief for that,

Jeez, why do you call yourself ----? Nothing erotic about fingers dipped in noses. But it's funny to see guys squabble (sorry, discuss) about cleanliness. I, for my part thought only gay guys were clean. I could be wrong. By the way, I had the honour (genuine mistake) of walking into the men's change room. Incredible. Pray tell me, why do you guys strut your stuff like that. Jeez, there was not one male in that room with their underpants on. Wow - I mean WOW. It was my wildest fantasy come true. I had no idea what to do. I'm just lucky.

5:45 PM, January 13, 2006  
Blogger shadows said...

hmm
well talking abt bare hands and samosas and all the beef meat thing
let me ask u LL what happens if ure stuck in a remote island where there is no grass all u have is the animals u wnt otherwise touch with a barge pole!
hey dude situations are alwas different..it all depends..and alos the key word is "what if?"
and like my mom wuld hate it if i had entered the kitchen with shoes on and it doesnt matter to me!my understanding of the whole situation is different from what i think....thats abt it

3:57 PM, January 14, 2006  
Blogger Minkey Chief said...

Why I call myself...? I'm descended from a long line of illustrious Minkeys. (If you've watched Allo Allo, you'll know what a minkey is.)

And as for us strutting our stuff in loos, I don't know where you accidentally walked in, lady, but it definitely wasn't any loo I've been to.

3:38 PM, January 18, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hay Minkey Chief,

How could I have forgotten Allo Allo? Shame Shame.

People usually do get naked in the loo. That is normal. I mean a change room or a locker room. Ok, this was at a swimming pool (overseas). Maybe Indian men are shy?? All talk no action?? HEE HEE I'm loving it.

I love the anonimity of this whole thing and whoever Deepak is, is extremely generous to continue doing this. Please, please don't stop now. Thanks Deepak.

12:48 PM, January 20, 2006  

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